Jedi sms me this morning. he wrote these simple lines that makes me think over and over again. about what i'm going to do next. he sms me at 5am, and until now, i still cant figure it out what to do. whether to sms him back, or just leave it like that. i'm so afraid that i might not be able to control my feelings, and go right back into that cracking-head-banging-cycle.

Started to feel myself fading from Question Guy. But then again, i guess i wasn't ready for any serious matters yet. if i do go on, then i'll just be lying to myself again.

chatted with Andre last night, and i asked him why people usually get this 'stagnasi kehidupan' syndrome. then he said, it's properly there to give us time to step back and reevaluated our actions. but what if i had enough of stepping back? will this stagnation process stop? when his time to asked questions came, he asked me about a very intriguing thing.

"pernah gak elo ngerasa sayang, tapi nggak. tapi elo tau klo elo sebenernya peduli?"

his question made me kinda reflect to my own feelings. so i said, that i have.